So today is my birthday in case you couldn't tell from the title. And once again, just like last year, I write this whilst a little bit drunk. So hows it going so far? well its different. Mum has missed it for the first time ever. So there are missing touches like decorations and i have to actually plan it myself this year. As usual there is mocks on which suck. Had a three hour exam today and one tomorrow which I already know I won't revise for. Dad ends up being on the phone and an hour late to pick me and my brother up and my usual lift is busy with his friends. So what do I do? get my boyfriend to come and rescue me and go drinking in my favourite restaurant as I wait. Problem is my brother is underage so I have to order a cocktail and a chocolate milkshake at the bar. A bit awkward but oh well. So yeah my birthday is definitely different than my usual one. It is also my last one at home before I go to uni and my last year of being a teenager. Not sure what I am going to do with the title once I hit twenty. Oh and my phone died so I am awkwardly drinking with my brother in a restaurant whilst on my laptop. I think the alcohol has hit me already. Thats shit. When did I become a lightweight? instead of planning out what I am going to write I am literally typing what words come to mind which is a little weird. And I'm sure I won't check this before I post so sorry about errors and stuff. But I am so brain dead after my exam that I just don't care anymore. At least I have a lot to look forward to. Not doing anything major as I have an exam tomorrow but getting all my closest friends, family and neighbours over. My first party that has people of all ages which is interesting. Is it weird that I have more teenage boys over than girls? Anyway, gotta go. Sorry about my drunk rambling.
- Random Girl xxxx
Thursday 25 February 2016
Sunday 14 February 2016
In Love?
So what exactly is love? I'm never been in love so I have no idea. But I think I'm falling in love. Is that ridiculous? To think that you could be in love with someone after only going out a few weeks. I mean we planned on breaking up in a few months when I go to uni. But I think deep down that I can't go through with it. But don't know what that means though. I don't think it will stop me from leaving but I don't think I can end the relationship either. I'm at the point where I think he will have to do it. And I have a feeling that he will struggle to. So what the hell are we meant to do? I feel like I would be an idiot for not leaving because of him. But when we aren't together I miss him all the time. He is the first one I think about when I go to bed and the last when I go to sleep. And it couldn't be worse timing. This is the moment when I should be free and single to travel and start university but I just can't help it. He used to ask me quite often why I haven't been in a relationship before. And I guess I haven't ever met the right person. But now that I have it just makes it that much harder to end things. But then again maybe I am just being naive. Maybe we haven't been together enough to find any faults in each other. Because so far everything that people would consider annoying I just find funny. It's just the little things I love about him that make me question whether I might already be falling for him. So maybe I'm not in love with him yet but I definitely don't think it will be long. And it is completely out of my control.
-Random Girl xxx
Thursday 4 February 2016
The Awkward Teenage Years
So as you guys can probably guess by my blog title that I am a teenager. But what does that mean exactly? I mean sure it is the age when you have teen at the end. But it is also an age category that is somewhere between a child and an adult. It is the age where we change the most in our lives. Not just physically but emotionally and personality wise to. And it is a hard time for everyone. There is the awkward stage at the beginning where you try to act grown up but really you are just a child. Which means the few extra years you have left to enjoy being a kid, you are too busy pretending to be cool. But then a few years later, you regret it when you think back. Then there is the whole awkward stage where you change physically and you try to hide some parts from everyone to keep yourself from getting embarrassed and show off other stuff. It is a very nerve wrecking time for a lot of teenagers. You are at the awkward in between stage of childhood and adulthood.
Then there is the point when peer pressure kicks in. You want to go to parties, drink, smoke, hook up with people. And most the time its not even because you want to but because that is what is considered normal. Because that is what everyone is doing. You get pressured into trying these things when you rather be somewhere eating ice cream and watching random movies. But then eventually, the more you try these things the more you do begin to enjoy them. Some of them at least. And no there is nothing wrong with that. But i'm pretty sure most people's parents are not happy with it and have some say in what you do and don't do.
And then there is the last stage. My stage. Right at the end of your teens. When you here the word teenager, you still tend to think of them/us as kids. Just bigger. But still relying on parents to buy you things and tell you what to do. When you are eighteen you are legally considered an adult. And the law allows you to basically do what you want. But still being stuck in the 'teen category' prevents you from doing that. We are meant to be learning to be independent and get on with our life. Go to university. But it can be difficult when you are still seen as a child.
Why am I talking about this? Well because I have had to conversations today that have made me question how I am meant to be treated. As a child, or an adult? The first conversation was with my mum. About sex. Yes, an awkward topic. But anyway, I kept feeling like she was trying to prevent me from having sex. But surely at the end of the day, it is my decision to do it. It isn't in her control. And it took a while for me to get through to her that only I will know when I am ready and she can't stop me. Well not just can't. She shouldn't feel the need to. I mean its a normal thing. It isn't like I'm planning on breaking the law. And the second conversation I had today was more of an argument than a conversation. With my dad. Just the usual family dinner that gets ruined in a matter of seconds. Where I start talking and my dad starts yelling and interrupting me for no reason. And I tell him to stop interrupting and to listen to what I am trying to say, and he gets even more mad. He will then tell me that he doesn't want me speaking to him that way. What a hypocrite, right? He was being disrespectful of me but because i'm the daughter. The 'teenager'. I am apparently automatically in the wrong. Just because I am young doesn't mean I don't know whats right and wrong. Which is something both my parents didn't seem to understand. I try to do my best to be independent, work to pay for my own things. Make my own decisions. But no matter what I do, it won't change the fact that I am just a 'teenager'.
I guess what I am trying to say, is that people treat all teenagers the same. Because we are supposedly in the same category. But really people couldn't be more wrong. There are many very different important stages in our lives during our teenage years and we should be treated differently according to those stages. Being a thirteen year old playing grown up isn't the same as a sixteen year old trying new things, which isn't the same as an eighteen year old who is trying to be independent but is still being seen as that thirteen year old playing grown up. Well I'm not playing anymore. And I think people need to see that. Sure, I am still young and I will probably make mistakes. But they are now mine to make and learn from. Not something a parent can fix. I might be a teenager but I am also an adult.
-Random Girl xxx
Then there is the point when peer pressure kicks in. You want to go to parties, drink, smoke, hook up with people. And most the time its not even because you want to but because that is what is considered normal. Because that is what everyone is doing. You get pressured into trying these things when you rather be somewhere eating ice cream and watching random movies. But then eventually, the more you try these things the more you do begin to enjoy them. Some of them at least. And no there is nothing wrong with that. But i'm pretty sure most people's parents are not happy with it and have some say in what you do and don't do.
And then there is the last stage. My stage. Right at the end of your teens. When you here the word teenager, you still tend to think of them/us as kids. Just bigger. But still relying on parents to buy you things and tell you what to do. When you are eighteen you are legally considered an adult. And the law allows you to basically do what you want. But still being stuck in the 'teen category' prevents you from doing that. We are meant to be learning to be independent and get on with our life. Go to university. But it can be difficult when you are still seen as a child.
Why am I talking about this? Well because I have had to conversations today that have made me question how I am meant to be treated. As a child, or an adult? The first conversation was with my mum. About sex. Yes, an awkward topic. But anyway, I kept feeling like she was trying to prevent me from having sex. But surely at the end of the day, it is my decision to do it. It isn't in her control. And it took a while for me to get through to her that only I will know when I am ready and she can't stop me. Well not just can't. She shouldn't feel the need to. I mean its a normal thing. It isn't like I'm planning on breaking the law. And the second conversation I had today was more of an argument than a conversation. With my dad. Just the usual family dinner that gets ruined in a matter of seconds. Where I start talking and my dad starts yelling and interrupting me for no reason. And I tell him to stop interrupting and to listen to what I am trying to say, and he gets even more mad. He will then tell me that he doesn't want me speaking to him that way. What a hypocrite, right? He was being disrespectful of me but because i'm the daughter. The 'teenager'. I am apparently automatically in the wrong. Just because I am young doesn't mean I don't know whats right and wrong. Which is something both my parents didn't seem to understand. I try to do my best to be independent, work to pay for my own things. Make my own decisions. But no matter what I do, it won't change the fact that I am just a 'teenager'.
I guess what I am trying to say, is that people treat all teenagers the same. Because we are supposedly in the same category. But really people couldn't be more wrong. There are many very different important stages in our lives during our teenage years and we should be treated differently according to those stages. Being a thirteen year old playing grown up isn't the same as a sixteen year old trying new things, which isn't the same as an eighteen year old who is trying to be independent but is still being seen as that thirteen year old playing grown up. Well I'm not playing anymore. And I think people need to see that. Sure, I am still young and I will probably make mistakes. But they are now mine to make and learn from. Not something a parent can fix. I might be a teenager but I am also an adult.
-Random Girl xxx
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)