Things Working Themselves Out

I'm not really sure where to start with this post. To be honest I am not really sure what it is about yet. So I will just write down whatever comes to mind. Today has been a good day. Maybe even an amazing day. What happened to the crazy stressed girl from a few days ago who was an emotional mess? Well I took a break. I feel slightly guilty than I spend time relaxing and having fun instead of doing work. But actually, I think I benefited more from having a rest than I would have from the extra hours of revision. I have been working myself to the ground lately. There was just too much going on all the time and it was exhausting. There is still too much going on but now I feel calmer and a little bit more prepared for the next lot of crazy to occur. I think I was too busy trying to control everything around me, that I forgot one of the things I always tell myself. Kind of like a mantra. Things work themselves out in the end. Sure not always the way you want it to. But a lot of the time you just have to let life take its course and accept what it is given to you rather than control everything.

Three days ago, I was emotional and stressed, dealing with summer trip plans, work, revision, my boyfriend, student finance and my mum. I wanted to fix all my problems at once. Instead, I stopped all of them. Just for a day. I slept. Watched TV. Had a nap. And by the time I woke up, one of those things had been sorted. My flights were booked. My relationship with my mum (which has been very strained these last few months) was slowly repairing itself, and I had an amazing evening with my boyfriend. Sure, I still need to revise which I spent the last four hours doing. And I need to sort out student finance. But there is just the slightest weight of my shoulders which makes all the difference. I already feel more relaxed and happier than I have for weeks.

I have been too busy thinking about all the things that need to be done by the end of the school year, that I forgot about all the amazing things I have to look forward to. Going travelling, spending the summer with my old friends (and hopefully my boyfriend if we are still together then), spending time with my family (probably on the boat) and then going off to university with my best friend. I need to have something to focus on that makes me happy. A goal rather than worrying about how I get there. I need to trust myself that I can do it all as long as I am happy along the way. Because what is the point if i'm living a miserable life.

Anyway there is my random rant. If anyone has been going through anything similar (which is probably likely if you are finishing off school this year too.) then feel free to comment with your experiences. Or don't. Up to you.

-Random Girl xxx