Hey everyone. So here is a little update on my life. Well I guess the main thing going on right now is being in a relationship for the first time in my life. Yeah, nearly 19 is a bit late but oh well. So my boyfriend asked me this week why I haven't been in a relationship before. And I guess it comes down to a lot of reasons. I was always a bit of a commitment phobe. I didn't like the idea of being attached to one person. And no its not so I can get with whoever I want whenever I want. It's the other stuff. In my mind relationships equal effort. Effort that I either couldn't be bothered with or didn't have time for. Yeah that makes me pretty lazy but thats just me. My life has always had a lot going on. I have moved, I have had lots of family drama, friend drama, boy drama, school drama, health drama and well... life drama I guess. I never had time to focus on a relationship when I have so much always going on. I thought it would always be too difficult to concentrate on being with someone.
What I didn't expect was for it to be as easy as it is. I thought I wouldn't want to constantly text, call and meet up. But that is just what happens naturally. It is easy to be with him, because he is easy to talk to. He makes me comfortable. Happy. It feels very normal. The timing probably couldn't be worse but despite all that it works. I am busy but I make time for him when I can. And we both know that we have some sort of deadline when I leave in a few months which sucks. We are aware of it but tend to joke it off. Not really talking about it. But to be fair we have only been together for just over a week. It's months away so it isn't something to worry about too much yet. We might even break up before then.
So here are some things I have had to get used to in the last week.
1. I am not allowed to flirt with other people. For a natural flirt it is kind of hard. Not that I want to or anything. It kind of just happens so I need to stop.
2. I actually have a social life now. We regularly meet up, get food. Hang out. So I am no longer spending all my time in my room on my computer.
3. I don't have to feel guilty every time I get with him. I may have not been in a relationship before but I'm not a nun. I have kissed people. But Im pretty much always drunk, and it's always a one night thing, making me feel guilty. But now I just feel happy. Happy that I have no reason to feel guilty.
4. I always have someone to talk to. About basically anything. Someone who actually cares. Sure I have friends but this is nicer somehow. More meaningful.
5. Relationships change over time. There are stages. The was the jokey flirty stage. The not knowing where it was going stage. The just getting together and telling everyone stage. And I guess now it feels more real. The actually being together, knowing each other a lot better. Just being able to talk and laugh about anything together. And I can already tell that each day gets a little more serious and feelings develop a little more each day.
So there you go. A little bit of an update.
-Random Girl xxx
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